The Past
by 13tash07
Summary: The Meta-crisis and Rose got quite comfortable living in their universe, together for ever. But after an alien attack ruins their happily ever after, the Doctor can't help but look back. Horrid summary, more inside. Possibly first in a series of stories.
1. Chapter 1

**Why hello there! This is yet another fiction from me, which I hope you enjoy. This is going to be the first in a series, if people like it. If not, it may be a stand alone story. I'm sick of people killing off poor 10.5 and thought 'what if it happened the other way?' So, read on! **

The shot had been meant for him. He'd spun to see the creature pull the trigger on his laser, aimed directly at his heart. He knew, with utter certainty, that it would hit him. There was no way he could get out of the way in time. But, oddly enough, he didn't exactly feel fear. A part of him felt that maybe this was right. He was an anomaly, a biological meta-crisis, a simply accidental coincidence. Perhaps this was the universe's way of telling him he was wrong.

So he had face the laser with no fear in his face, when something had come between him and it, a "no!" torn from the blonde girl's lips. He barely registered what happened when she crumpled before him, and his eyes became wide. No! That wasn't what was meant to happen. She could... she wouldn't...

But Rose Tyler collapsed, having been hit by the laser. It didn't kill instantly - the idea being that you could perhaps hear the victim's last words, get some extra information. Using them up until their life was extinguished. The Doctor caught her in his arms, before slowly lowering her body to the could hear her breath coming in ragged gasps already, and knew that within the next minute she would be dead.

"Doctor," she whispered, and he looked at her with eyes fighting back tears. There was nothing he could do for her, nothing that could save her. "You're safe. That's good. I was afraid..." she broke off with a wince, the laser taking its effect. Despite the fact that there was a minor war raging above their heads, the Doctor had eyes for nothing but his dying Rose. "I was afraid that I'd lost you."

The Doctor shook his head, now struggling to fight back tears. She might not have lost him, but he had most certainly lost her. Her breathing was short, and her eyes watered with pain. "I love you. You know that, right?" He nodded, giving a watery smile. "I love you, too," he responded softly. She nodded at him. "Then let me tell you not to be alone. You need someone, yea?"

He nodded in muted agreement, feeling his single, weak, human heart beginning to break. When Rose gave him a final smile and breathed her last, his fury rose.

Not a single one of the creatures who had declared war on planet Earth survived.

**Dramatic chord! I have written quite a bit of this story, so I think that I am going to update regularly on a Sunday. I may update twice a week later, but for now, keep tuned and let your Sundays be groovy!**


	2. 18 Months Previously  Nightmares

**Hello, faithful reader! Chapter two of this story, as you have probably gathered from the title, takes place around eighteen months before the introductory chapter. That is how most of this story is going to be formatted, so please tell me if it is being a bit jumpy.**

At first she had been reluctant. After that kiss, on the beach, she refused to look at him. He knew that it would be hard on her, nearly as hard on her as it was on him. She'd loved the Doctor - the actual Doctor, not the shadow of the man that he was - and he'd left her. He'd left her for a couple of reasons. The first was to give her something better than him, something that she deserved. Someone who could live her life out with, someone who could be there with her as an equal. The second was to save himself the heartbreak. He knew she would be safe now, and happy. No more would he have to pine after Rose Tyler. No more would he have to either ignore her love, or stand by and watch her grow old while he stayed young.

It had taken her a while to see that. For the first week, she didn't make eye contact with him, didn't mutter a word. By the second week, she would smile slightly, greet him in the mornings, but otherwise ignore him. He didn't want to admit how much it hurt him, but every time her eyes looked away from his he felt as though she'd stabbed him, shoving a knife in his chest and twisting ever so slightly.

The third week was what changed it. The Doctor had always had nightmares, although most of the time he slept without dreams, having retained that much control over his mind. Now, however, in his human form, he couldn't fight off the dreams like he used to. His own mental shields were weaker, and added to the fact that he no longer had his TARDIS looking out for him the nightmares intensified. Most of the time he woke in a cold sweat, taking a while to calm him jagged breathing.

Rose had been taking a late night stroll, pacing around the large manor to calm herself down, when she had lingered in his doorway. Part of her wondered if he was experiencing the same insomnia as she was. So she'd peered in to see him thrashing in his sleep, her ears picking up the sound of him gasping for breath.

Without a word, breathless with concern, she had slipped into the room and then, subsequently, into the bed beside him, simply pulling him into her arms. He'd woken up with eyes full of fear, but it abated into nothingness when he saw that it was just her, not some horror from his night terrors. He slowly steadied his breathing, getting his thoughts straight. It took him a moment to realise that, in the couple of moments when he was regaining his sense of self, he had instinctively pulled Rose closer to him, so that there was absolutely nothing separating them, their two bodies pressed together.

The Doctor felt his cheeks turn pink, cursing this new, part human body and it's reactions, and let go of her hurriedly, withdrawing a bit with slight nervousness. Rose had barely said more than two words at a time to him since their first kiss, and now she was lying in his bed. He was confused as to what she was doing there, still slightly disorientated from his nightmare. She had, however, moved closer to him, rolling him over so that he was facing her, their faces inches away. The Doctor had a slight urge to close the gap, but he squashed it.

"You looked like you were havin' a nightmare," she told him softly. He stayed silent, not wanting to confess that was exactly what he had been doing. He was always a tiny bit embarrassed about the dreams that haunted him, despite the fact that they were all perfectly understandable with his past. He hated showing weakness in front of his companion, knowing that he should be the stronger one. However, Rose knew none of this and continued with her questioning. "What was it about?"

The Doctor shook his head, as always trying to avoid the confrontation. "I'm fine. It was nothing," he told her, which was a complete and utter lie. Rose seemed to get that, and he got the feeling that she wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Doctor," she said, a slight hint of annoyance and command in it. "It obviously wasn' nothin'. That was anythin' but a peaceful slumber. An' you didn' answer my question."

The Doctor stayed silent for a moment, not wanting to form words. He didn't want to dump the horrors of his sleep on her, but he also knew that she would persist and persist if he didn't tell her. "It was one of my usual nightmares. I was just... dreaming of the war."

The Doctor had always been incredibly enigmatic when it came to talking of the war that had destroyed his home. He hated talking of it, the mere thought of looking at those memories terrifying him. To have to explain it all to someone else in more than the bare basics was an incomprehensible thing. The fact that it haunted his sleep was bad enough. He looked away from Rose for a second, feeling a tad bit ashamed. When he looked back up, he saw that Rose was gazing at him. Her eyes were filled with a mixture of pity and guilt.

"Doctor," she whispered softly, looking at him with that incredibly intense gaze. He felt his heart stutter; it was the first time she'd addressed him by his name. Hell, it was the first time that she'd really addressed him at all. "That's who you are. You're him, and he's you."

She stared at him, her eyes slightly guilty, before she enveloped him in a hug, snuggling in and looking up at him. "I'm sorry, Doctor. The way I've been these past few weeks... I just needed to get my head straight. But I've been ignorin' you. And it wasn' right of me."

"It's okay, Rose," he told her softly, gently stroking her hair. "I understand. I forgive you."

They lapsed into silence - not an awkward silence, but a comfortable one, holding each other close. The Meta-crisis wonders if this has changed anything. He felt certain it had. She seemed to have finally managed to come to terms with the fact that he was the Doctor, but he wasn't. And, as he fell asleep in Rose's arms, the thought that from now on she would be there by his side kept the nightmares away.

**Not my best work, but I'm getting there. I suck at this sort of soppy, but practice makes perfect! Please leave a review, and I shall respond at the start of each chapter**


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